Manners & Respect: Is it a thing of the past?
Now, my point is that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path that you needn't stay on. If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.
Back in 2014, when the first installment in the Kingsman series was released. That line stood out to me so much. It screamed out to the little boy in me who had always dreamed of being a Police Officer.
I had experienced a lot of self doubt in life but left the cinema feeling like Eggsy himself. The lowly protagonist having grown up with not a lot, being introduced into the world of spies and covert operations.
Having watched the newest one, Kingsman: The Golden Circle.
It inspired me to delve deeper into a big concept in these films. Manners and all that being a gentleman entails.
Lets take a second.
Now i know initially many of you may think i am living with a romanticized view of the world and that chivalry is dead.
Firstly that may depend on your definition of chivalry.
Secondly, don't be so negative.
My definition of being a chivalrous man is not the stereotypical holding a door for a lady ( i do this, its just manners ) or using yourself as a human shield in the event of somebody hurling urine from the upstairs windows of a house. Trust me, this was a thing. Look it up.
Simply put, i make it my daily objective or goal to constantly better myself and the world around me. Whether it be smiling at someone you walk past on the street or paying for someone else's coffee. Just 2 examples of things i try to do on the regular.
The sense of satisfaction i gain from getting a smile back or just that grateful thank you is immense. Just knowing you may have made just 1 persons day that bit better makes me smile once again.
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| Merlin, played by the brilliant Mark Strong. |
What if i told you..
You too can be as brilliant as Mark Strong and be bald?
I know i am making the effort.
Okay serious face again.
I recently read on article on Her.ie about how Irish men and I quote '' Seem to receive praise for the most inconsequential things ''.
Now I agree with the idea of the article, Irish men from what I see in my line of work could do with some refinement. Although I do want to say, that a thank you for caring enough to walk a girl to the bus stop is just manners.
Anyway, as I was saying. A lot of men in Ireland, not just Irish men, have been quite lax in their approach to women. I work the odd night in a local nightclub and see some of the most unusual attempts to get the shift.
Transgression
Recently on a night out i was entirely sober and it was nearing 2:30am. I had taken to watching an Indian man making his way around the dance floor, making himself quite known shall we say.
He would move from woman to women, giving each a big shove with his rear.
Clearly this method was not working for him and he was becoming quite agitated. F'ing and blinding as he would try and grab each girl, even those with male company. At this point the bouncers had begun to notice and even laugh at him.
So the time had come to leave and he wasn't going without a fight. He got aggressive with this very beautiful young Spanish woman who happened to be dancing with a friend of mine.
Needless to say he was ejected from the club like a slice of toast from a toaster.
My point is, well blatantly obvious I hope. Don't be this guy. Grabbing a woman's ass is not acceptable, passing rude remarks or cat calling is not acceptable and just being generally disrespectful is not, let me hear you say it? That's right. Not acceptable. It does not take any effort to be respectful.
You get what you give!
Ladies, don't think you get out of this one either. Respect is a two way street. I have seen some guys get shut down in the most abrupt manner for simply trying to talk to women.
Maybe if you gave these guys a chance you wouldn't be wondering why your current crop of men are blowing you off for their friends and getting annoyed when and I quote again '' you don't put out ''.
If a guy is worth his salt as a man he will be happy to enjoy the company of a woman who makes an effort and takes her time.
I believe Her.ie publishers have written this article about 1 specific type of man. The modern player, if you will. Some men don't tend to make the best boyfriends for a clear reason. They know they can play women and get away with it. They give us all a bad name.
I understand the allure and what not but the guy of your dreams, if you will, is probably the guy who you have not given a chance and friend zoned simply because he lacked that bad boy flair.
Solution? Stop dating the same guys in different guises.
Food for thought perhaps?
For the men who want to further themselves in all aspects of life, some simple ideas.
- Style - Work on how you dress, converse or vans aren't going to cut it. Invest in a decent Chelsea boot, a good leather jacket, some quality shirts and high quality jeans. I've been complimented on my combinations many times by women I once considered out of my league.
- Hygiene - Come on guys, this speaks for itself. I know she likes the love cushion on your face but a little grooming goes a long way. Shave, invest in some good aftershave and ditch the I.T engineer haircut.
- Management of alcohol - I don't think I have ever actually seen this in an article before. The idea of watching consumption to be more successful, hitting that sweet spot where you are most confident and not pie eyed, mashing your words together so much she thinks you're incapable of holding a conversation.
- Fitness - I believe this was the biggest help for me. Never the Lothario, working out gave me the confidence to step out of my comfort zone and approach women in different settings. You don't need to over complicate it. Watch your diet, don't over do the cardio and learn some basic resistance training techniques. Following that formula has never steered me wrong, if you're simply intending on getting into and maintaining shape.
- Confidence - A topic that i could talk about for hours, building a sense of confidence in yourself being vital. Working on the previous 4 tips aids significantly here. Certainly an article for the future.
To summarise
Gents, put in the effort. God knows the ladies do.
I know a lot of you do put in the effort appearance wise. I'm talking about how you treat other people.
I know its easy to be one of the lads and have the craic but it is just as easy to be a bit more refined in doing so. Whilst maintaining your dignity in the process might i add.
Nobody likes the guy who gets panicked around half 2 because he still hasnt found a strange bed to sleep in.
I know its easy to be one of the lads and have the craic but it is just as easy to be a bit more refined in doing so. Whilst maintaining your dignity in the process might i add.
Nobody likes the guy who gets panicked around half 2 because he still hasnt found a strange bed to sleep in.
I may not get lots of women because i am not loud and brash but when i do meet a new lady you can be sure i would rather spend my time with her and her alone. Quality over quantity.
In turn ladies, next time a guy sums up the courage to come over and say hi and seems reasonably coherent. Hear him out, you can be sure it took some balls to make that leap, especially if you are with your friends. If he's not your type, just be straight but kind about it.
You will make a big difference in his night and attitude in general.
You will have a knock on effect in how he treats the next woman he may approach.
How could I forget Agent Galahad, played by none other than Colin Firth.
I hope you enjoyed the post, any feedback would be much appreciated! I included a link to the article I referenced earlier at the bottom.
Until next time,
Aaron James.
Source: Her.ie
Source: Her.ie
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